Mother's Culinary Heroism

jylbenson

I nag endlessly at my 14-year old daughter, Cecilia, to observe closely and learn to cook at least a handful of dishes native to Louisiana, lest she end up like my 32-year old niece, whose mother turned her out upon the world without so much as the ability to throw together a decent pot of red beans or a respectable gumbo.

I firmly believe everyone should have at least a handful of go-to recipes upon which to fall back when an impromptu dinner party emergency strikes. I’ll admit I fear being judged as I am judging my sister-in-law, judged as my mother would have been judged had my father not stepped in to take over my kitchen training.

Two stories best reflect my mother’s limited culinary skills: In the first I was 7 or so, and milk-fed baby veal was all the rage. Knowing what I know today, I thoroughly disavow the inhumane procurement of this product, but back then I was clueless and curious. I will never forget the day my equally clueless mother plopped some unadorned tender pink veal cutlets from the Piggy Wiggly grocery on Old Metairie Road into a pan, poured in a jar of Heinz Chicken Gravy, and proceeded to smother the delicate meat for hours.  I have no words.

In another act of culinary heroism, one Sunday my mother pulled from the cupboard a pressure cooker someone was fool enough to give her. Into it she plunked a beef roast, carrots, potatoes, onions, and celery. She poured in some water, tightened up the lid on the cooker, and cranked up the heat, no doubt intending to leave the contents to cook for hours on end, until nothing in the pot was recognizable, as was her custom. At some point, so much pressure built up in the forgotten pot that the contents of the vessel started shooting forth from the little pressure-relief nozzle at the top of the lid. We watched in disbelief as a volcano of roast beef streamed steadily from the vessel for 10 minutes or so, coating the ivory-hued kitchen ceiling with brown muck. When the blast subsided, my daring father approached the pot and untwisted the lid to reveal a single pinkie-sized scrap of carrot remaining within. That day was the last time I remember her cooking—except for 2 things: Meatballs and Spaghetti, a fail-proof recipe she lifted from a college roommate; and Pecan Ice Box Cookies, the recipe for which came from who knows where.

I remember her making the pecan cookies for holiday gatherings, and she was justifiably famous for them. Their perfection may have, in fact, obliterated her other culinary misdeeds in the minds of everyone but me. Thin, crisp, perfect, and loaded with sweet Louisiana pecans gathered from my grandparents’ yard, they were then and will always be a welcome holiday calling card. To those of you out there harboring insecurities about your cooking and baking skills, I say, if my mother could pull this recipe off ANYONE can.

Comments

Jyl, on this day, November 11, 2011, what would have been my beloved father's 87th birthday, your story about your mother's pressure cooker meal stirred up a fond remembrance for me.  My mother was a wonderful cook and baker, but had a tremendous fear of the INTIMIDATING PRESSURE COOKER, because of one mishap,,,she vowed to never touch it again, but that didn't stop my father one bit!  When he retired from Southern Pacific Railroad in the early '80s he decided he was going to master cooking in the pressure cooker, and found it to be a challenge - Which He Won! He would cook in it at least once a week, meals such as: New England Boilded Dinner (My FAVORITE), Red Beans & Sausage, White Beans, Blackeyed peas, Spaghetti, beef roasts, and wild game, were just a few. He would brag about how he was going to cook and his entire meal would be ready in 15 - 30  minutes - I'd tease him and say, "You can't possibly call that cooking!"

He was so experienced, that my classmate, Tim Hebert, who was also my best friend and accomplished cook as well, asked my father to teach him how to cook in a pressure cooker, unfortunately, the two died within 7 months apart and never had that much awaited lesson in "Cooking In The Pressure Cooker."

Now, I have yet to try my hand at it, I think it's because I'm scared too! Maybe I'll give it a try one day and hope those 2 Special Guardian Angels will be looking over my shoulder and guiding me step-by-step!

I loved these stories. My grandmother tells a similar story about the pressure cooker, and how she was making green beans once and they started shooting out of the pressur relief nozzle, like little missiles attacking the kitchen ceiling. I hadn't thought of her telling that story for many years. Thank you for reminding me!

Your tale had me laughing, Jyl, as it reminded me of a special meal I was preparing for a special girl way back before... well, way back.  I was newly and honorably discharged from the US Army and living in a small manufacturing town in a state that loves to send its governors to prison.  I had a lass whom I wanted to impress with my culinary skills, so I decided to prepare what one would have to call oven braised rock cornish game hens.  I had a great recipe for dove prepared this way, so I went for it.  Made my own wide egg noodles over which to serve the hens and accompanying veggies -carrots, garlic, pearl onions, green peppers, and celery chunks.  Did I mention that I was poor as hell?My "apartment" was two rooms and an almost bathroom, with the stove being right in line with the doorway into the living/bed room.  As it was the latter part of the 60's, I naturally had a bamboo curtain seperating the two rooms.That magic day arrived and I'd spent two days trying to make the place look like a human being dwelled therein.  I started preparing the meal and realized with a panic that I had no wine for the dish, no time to go buy any, nor any money to pay for it... yeah, yeah, I know, a prudent man would have called the lass and asked her to pick up a bottle of something on her way over, or simply "borrow" something decent from her daddy's wine cabinet.  Me being the quick thinker I am figured that Cognac is distilled wine and brandy (which I DID have) is almost Cognac, so I dumped a cup of brandy in the pot and popped it in the oven.My lady arrived and we sat in the "living room" talking and listening to some Delta blues and sipping some sort of cheap libation.  We'd been in there long enough that I thought maybe I should go check on the birds, when BAM, there was a bit of an explosion in the kitchen and the next thing I knew, my prized dutch-oven had slid through the doorway -flaming as it went- and banged against the opposing wall, setting fire to my herb plant.  <sigh> Once all of the few and quite small -by then- flames were extinquished we looked at one another and started laughing.  I don't even remember her name, but when we broke up, she swore that for the rest of her life, she'd think of me on Thanksgiving and smile.  Probably thankful she didn't marry that jackass of an arsonist.Anyway, thank you for your memories, good and bad, that revolve around the kitchen and the foodie's favorite things.  

Your hilarious pressure cooker story brought back an unforgettable cooking experience, not of a beloved mother, but of a roommate. One of my best friends, who now lives in Atlanta, was so smart he skipped his senior year of high school. After I joined him as one of his roommates in college, he decided to cook a ham. Unbeknownst to us less smart roommates, he put the ham in the oven still sealed in the can. It exploded, blowing the door off the oven. 40 years later we cannot have a get together without someone that has heard the story bringing it up.