Why fake it? Why bother?  They usually figure it out, anyway: Fat free half-and-half, pseudo "butter," tofu or seitan crumbles, soy pasta. And on and on - and other things, too.

But.

Mardi Gras was just that: One big, fat ass Tuesday that lasted a week. I snarfed  down enough varieties of king cake to call it a contest, drowned myself in all manner of gumbos, conducted a study of assorted jambalayas, ate enough fried chicken to start clucking, and drank enough wine to earn the name Bacchus (or whoever his female counterpart is/was). By Mardi Gras Day I was so sick of it all and so grossed out I spent the day happily working. I also turned to the one fake-out I heartily embrace when my jeans fit too tight or I simply feel poisoned: Fake (or faux) Pho.

I can hear the purists screaming already but this works for me.  In my world carbs are pretty much the enemy and cutting them out is usually enough to bring a sense of order to my universe.  I've turned a few friends on to this and it works for them, too. Fake Pho consists of highly flavored broth loaded with whatever vegetables and low fat meat  is hanging around: shitaake mushrooms, shallots, ribbons of baby bok choy, boneless white chicken, left over filet, shrimp, sometimes frozen Asian dumplings, and always either loads of shredded cabbage or a ton of fresh bean sprouts. While bean sprouts are a traditional additive to pho, using an absolute ton of them or subbing out shredded cabbage is what really puts the "fake" in Fake Pho: I psych myself into believing I am slurping a big bowl of noodles, which I do not use. I ladle up a gigantic bowl of this stuff and toss in fistfuls of freshThai basil and cilantro, a generous squeeze of lime juice, sometimes sliced jalapenos, a  hefty dose of either garlic chili paste or Sriracha and a sprinkling of dried shallots.  

All of this amounts to a big bowl of really satisfying, superfast and easy, cheap, low fat, low carb, healthy, extremely flavorful, hotter-than-Hell, NOTHING  I'm not saying it rivals a run to Pho Tau Bay but, at least for me, it keeps the pounds and the cravings away and it's impossible to screw it up.